Hobnobbing with Saudi Diplomats then Getting Bossed by the Maid

I'm doing computer housekeeping and I just found my journal entry of September 12, 2007. It predated inauguration of this blog so I didn't post it at the time.

My wife and I had an interesting evening last night (September 11). We were invited by the Saudi ambassador to a major reception commemorating Saudi Arabia's national day. My wife is his son's school librarian and several of the boy's teachers and school administrators were invited. It was in a real swanky hotel and there was food in every direction from appetizers to whole roast sheep to an endless variety of to-die-for desserts. At first I tried to eat only with my right hand but that was awkward because we were standing, holding little plates as well as our (non-alcoholic) drink glasses. Also, I soon noticed that nobody else was worried about that.

Lots of people were there from the Chavez government including the former Vice President of Venezuela. There were some American embassy people, and lots of business persons and other diplomats of various nationalities. Most of the women dressed fairly conservatively out of respect for the host but there were a couple of "over the top" (in every sense of the word) highly revealing cocktail dresses worn by a few of the Venezuelan women. We met the ambassador and several Saudi diplomats in the reception line. Generally they greeted us in Spanish and hospitably switched to English when they realized we were Americans. They were wearing those little red and white checkered head scarves and had the obligatory little mustaches and goatees. There were some other guys in robes and Santa hats who looked like the notorious blind Sheik. Most of the Arab women were wearing the full hair covering things but none were wearing veils. The ambassador's wife looked a bit more modern with some pretty bright clothes and a more moderate headscarf that allowed some hair exposure.

We had quite a long conversation with the only Chavez supporter that we know here and her husband. They're both very nice folks and revere Chavez just as much as all our other very nice Venezuelan friends despise him. There seems to be no in between.

It is interesting to see how amiably the Saudis and the Venezuelans get along seeing as the former are tee-totalers who hide their women under bags and the latter are party drinkers who glorify and display the sexuality of their women. I guess they are united by their common purpose to provide oil to the thirsty US at as high a price as possible.

The Saudis gave each guest a gift as we left. It was a large beautiful print of a Saudi Beach and a folder with material from the Saudi Ministry of Culture and Information.

Morning after now: It is maid day. That happens twice per week now but my wife still makes me wash dishes the night before. Maria, our young maid, usually has lots of questions for me and occasional assignments. She is a talented exterminator so my wife had asked her to zap the termites living in our cupboards and bar with her trusty cure-all chemical, "Vensol". That was not without complications as I have dramatized below, translating our dialogue into English.

Maria: Senor Johnny, can you fix this thing (showing me the hypodermic needle she uses to inject poison into the termite holes in our cabinets; it had a swelled and stuck rubber piston.)

I got it loosened and moving again with much friction.

Me: OK now, but you make suck much slowly. .

Maria: (later) It broke again.

Me: Oh. That sad.

Maria: What are you going to do about it?

Me: Uh

Maria: What are you going to do about it now?

Me: OK, I go pharmacy buy new one now. What it word?

Maria: Injectadora and while you're at it stop by the grocery store and buy some green plantains, potatoes, and chicken bouillon. (She's actually supposed to do the grocery shopping.)

Me: OK

Maria: Take your umbrella. It looks like it's going to rain.

Maria got the job done, even finding and harpooning one of the larva to show me. She fed me well, as usual. Yesterday's lunch was something like Beaufort stew except with chicken instead of shrimp and with a gigantic mountain of white rice. I have tried to tell her that I like her rice but that I prefer brown rice and much smaller portions. The only part that comes across is that I like her rice.

Maid Day! Maid Day!

Today is maid day. This is good because it gets our house real clean for only about ten or twelve bucks. It is bad because I am always slightly uncomfortable with Maria (not her real name) flitting about and sweeping under my feet. That's because I'm totally unable to understand anything she says and vice versa, a) because I don't speak Spanish, and b) because she speaks a mile a minute. For an outsider to Spanish it might sound like I know some Spanish but it's only when we stick to the script. The script (as it sounds to me) and the translation are almost invariably as follows:
8:30 AM
Maria: Senor John, BlalalalalalalalalaCadaBlalalalala Translation: Mr. Johnny, I'm ready to go to Cada (the grocery store) Can you give me the money.
Johnny: Si (handing over BsF 70.00) Sufficiente? Translation: Yes. Is this enough?
Maria: Si. BlalalalalalalaLlavesLalalalala Translation: Yes. May I have the apartment key.
Jonnny: Si
Maria: Ciao
9:30 AM (A while after she arrives back from the grocery store)
Maria: Senor John, BlalalalalalalalalalalaLlaves? Translation: Mr. Johnny, did I remember to give back your keys?
Johnny: Uhhh, Si
10:00 AM
Maria: Senor John, BlalalalalalaComerAqui o la escuela con Senora Cati? Translation: Mr. Johnny, are you going to eat here or at the school with Mrs. Catherine?
Johnny: Si, aqui. Translation: Yes, here.
12:15 PM
Maria: Senor John, BlalalalalalaComidaLalalalala. Translation: Mr. Johnny, your lunch is ready.
Johnny: Oh, Si (Johnny eats lunch on balcony. Maria eats hers on the bar in the kitchen.)
12:35 PM
Johnny: Gracias! Es muy delicioso comida. Translation: Thank you. It very delicious food.
Maria: Tee heh Translation: Tee heh.
2:30 PM
Maria: Senor John, Blalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Translation: Mr. Johnny, I'm done and ready to go.
Johnny: Oh OK, (handing over BsF 50.00.) Hasta Viernes. Translation: See you Friday
Maria: BlalalalalalalalHuevesLalalalalaTeehehCiao. Translation: See you Thursday. Can't you ever get your days straight?! Tee heh. Bye
Johnny: Ciao Translation: Bye

That part is easy. The tough part is when we go off script, which is a couple of times per day. Today she asked me if she could bring her camera on Thursday for me to upload some pictures to my computer. I don't know why; I didn't know how to ask. She also wanted to know if she could take a shower before she went home because she had spilled some cooking oil on herself. That led to some considerable charades and confused communication. I won't even go there.

I know very little about this woman except she is a 26 year old Colombian, has a husband, a 4 year old son, and lives in La Guaira an hour's bus ride away near the airport. How does she make it on a two hour round trip to work for people for BsF 50 per day? Does her husband have a job? Does she live in one of the tiny clay brick huts, without window glass, clinging to a hillside in some dangerous barrio with poor or non-existant plumbing like so many of the poor people here? I'm poignantly aware that she is about the same age as my own daughter. Does she have aspirations for a better life? Is she happy to anticipate being a domestic for the rest of her life? What chances for a better life does her son have? I'd like to invite her to lunch with me on the balcony and tell me these things but of course I'd never understand a word she said. I found out today she likes coffee. I'm going to brew an extra cup in our pot each Tuesday and Thursday before she comes.