Lately I have read about a group that wants to apologize to Japan for us dropping the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This has been met by wide objections from Americans who protest, "Ha! They asked for it when they bombed Pearl Harbor first. They should be apologizing to us." Another objection centers on deterrent. "It wasn't nice, but we had to nuke 'em to save American lives." These may be persuasive arguments for why we should have done it in 1945, but they are not relevant to why we should not apologize in 2009. I am sympathetic to the apology supporters for reasons outlined below.
Reason 1: Japan's decision makers and those they commanded killed a bunch or our innocent people, but so did our retaliation. Even if necessary and justifiable, we killed a bunch of their innocent people in addition to (or instead of) their decision makers.
Reason 2: It has been 65 years and we have been friends and growing together as allies in world leadership all that time. Today there are adults living in both countries whose grandparents weren't even born when these horrific acts of war took place. Japan is not a current adversary with whom we have to talk tough for our national security.
Reason 3: What the heck is the harm in it for us? What if we apologize before they do? That only makes us look magnanimous in their eyes and the eyes of the global community.
I just looked up "apology" in www.dictionary.com. It is defined as "a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another". I noted that there are two ORs and no ANDs in that definition. Surely most of us feel at least sorrow for the injury caused to at least the innocent children killed and maimed when we dropped the big ones. That strikes me as justification enough to offer the apology. I also note that nothing in the definition says those who offer the apology must feel or believe themselves to be the greater transgressors than the party to whom the apology is offered.
My wife gets home today from a 5 day visit with her parents. I didn't complete all the chores I promised I'd complete. I shall apologize for not meeting my goal. I shall not say "I'm sorry I didn't get all my stuff done but YOU left the car lights on and killed the battery TWICE last week." I'll just tell her I'm sorry I didn't get all my stuff done and how great it is to see her. She knows she killed the battery twice. This is the way you need to act with those important to you to keep the relationship strong and healthy.
